Updated: Sep 16, 2020
It's time to stop saying "I'm bad at communication."
As I date more, a common theme seems to emerge with many guys: ghosting.
Ghosting is when a guy drifts without warning.
But who is responsible for ghosting? Honestly, I think it's society.
It seems that society has conditioned men to be out of touch with their feelings. I mean, with us saying "be a man!" to a crying little boy, what else would happen?
Somehow, we've established that men who show emotions are weak; which is untrue! Unfortunately, we continue to teach this lie to young boys. And as a side effect, they don't know how to communicate as adults.
And why is it so important to communicate? Simple: the lack of it is tiring. It's hurtful and confusing. when someone drifts without any warning. And those emotions are exhausting
So guys, what am I saying?
Or actually: what am I requesting?
I'm requesting you to reject society's old notion of "be a man."
More specifically, I'm requesting you to experience your feelings and communicate them.
It's hard, I know. But I'm not asking you to become the superman of communication. I'm just asking you to communicate what you feel, whether it's "I don't think we should see each other again" or "I want something casual, is that alright?"
Here's some simple ways you can improve on communication:
1. Do some googling on communication skills
2. Read a self-help book
3. Go for therapy
Don't be afraid and just try one of them. It sounds hard but it's really not. Getting started is the hardest part and once you're in the process, you'll realise it's not so bad.
And remember: communication isn't something that just appears overnight. It's a skill, and skill takes practice. So it may get tiring sometimes but trust that it's worth it! You're doing a good thing for yourself and your relationships.
So guys, the next time you need a few days of alone time to figure some stuff out? Say it.
Don't wanna someone them again? Say it.
Really want to someone them again? Say it.
No one is going to hate you for expressing your feelings. And if they do, kick them to the curb. Because no good human would hate a man for communication.