Updated: Jun 25, 2019
Hello everyone! So for my 20th birthday and I thought I'd do a little reflective piece. This piece turned out to be a little bit long so I've split it into 3 short articles. The articles consist of what I've learnt so far and what I want to bring with me into the next decade and new phase of life. Enjoy x.
Finally onto the last topic: Love and marriage.
In this area, I've learnt that I can date again even after the best relationship I've had so far.
Right after my breakup, I didn't feel emotionally capable of it.
I mean, who would?
Breakups suck. Good breakups suck, bad breakups suck.
Bad breakups suck because you put in so much effort to save the relationship, but get your heart broken anyway.
But a good breakup?
Where you're both still in love?
And still immensely care for each other?
But realise you aren't meant for marriage together? Oof. That sucks. That's a whole new level of 'sucks'.
After I encountered my 'good breakup' in August last year, I knew logically I'd find 'someone better'. I knew that I was 'one step closer' to the 'right one'. I knew 'everything happened/s for a reason'.
But when you have your first really good relationship after a really crappy one, it feels hard to believe. You just wish that you'd already found the right one. It doesn't feel good to have your heart broken. You knew the relationship had flaws, but you also dreaded breaking up because you were scared no one else would accept you.
But listen here bitch, shut the fuck up.
Not only will someone accept you, they will embrace you.
But for that, you need to embrace yourself first.
Take time to be by yourself and date around before committing to someone.
Find out what you need in your life-long partner by experimenting.
And most importantly: have fun!
Being with someone shouldn't be a drag, whether casual or serious.
Sure, there will be ups and downs, but overall: being with someone should make you happy. And that's important to remember.
My outlook on love is changing.
Love is more of a choice to me than a feeling now and let's just say I'm now very picky with my choices. A.k.a I no longer want to fall in love for the sake of it.
I want to fall in love to marry. And that's not easy.
Finding someone you like and likes you back is hard enough. But someone you can do bills with, divide chores with, raise kids with and still want to have sex with?
OOF. GOOD LUCK.
It's tough but I know it will happen someday, at the right time too. Things happen when they are meant to happen.
Till then, bring on the great dates, casual hookups, fun flings, hilarious stories and wild parties:
I'm saying hello to my 20s!