Hey sexy. Yes you, I am talking to you!! You have sexiness in you. You just don't feel it yet.
I remember the first time I had to learn a sexy dance routine: Most awkward. shit. ever.
My instructor even said my dance group would turn him gay because we were so bad :')
But what changed? Well, we finally performed the routine for an audience (after much cleaning and practise, of course).
And my god,
the audience's reaction?!
Every kick, hair flip and sultry move was met with loud cheers.
And there were many kicks, hair flips and sultry moves.
It felt so cool that we could evoke that reaction from the audience. After encountering that, I realised it really is possible for me to be sexy. It's a thing you grow into (and there will be some awkwardness along the way. So don't worry, it's totally normal!). There are also other ways I grew into my sexy. Read on to find out what they were and how you can use them too!
So yes, performing that first sexy item was definitely the leeway into realising I can feel sexy.
As time went on, I learnt more such dance routines, performed them and that realisation grew.
Furthermore, as I would practise such moves in the studio, my natural dancing style (a.k.a partying style) grew to be similar. And the confidence I felt onstage came with me to the dance floor.
So, I suggest developing a better relationship with dance to feel sexy. You could go to a class to 'get your freak on', I strongly suggest a street jazz class!
Or you could simply look around, see which of your friends is the best dancer and pick some things off of them.
And remember: there's no one way to be sexy! Everyone has their own version. Is J-lo the same type of hot as Ruby Rose? no!
They have distinct styles. So find yours and dance the night away.
2. Going with what I thought was attractive
I don't agree with some of society's conventions. For example, I think one-pieces and high waisted suits are sometimes way hotter than a normal bikini. You don't have to conform to society's conventions to feel attractive. Wear what you think is nice and enjoy it. I've got to continue working on this too.
3. Recognizing the existence of Photoshop and makeup teams
Many of us don't feel sexy due to comparison.
Earlier when I asked you to think of J-lo and Ruby Rose; did you feel a sense of inferority? Thinking perhaps "but J-lo dances so well!". If you did so, you're a victim of comparison, honey. But don't worry, so am I. It's natural.
Many of us don't pursue something because someone else is already really good. We probably fear never being as good as them, get intimidated and chicken out.
My weak point with comparison is singing. I like doing it but am constantly comparing myself to others. Whether it's people in my actual life or big stars.
But I guess I have to realise that these big stars have whole teams working for them. They've got people writing songs, making specific melodies and training their voices. Not to mention they've been doing this since young.
Just like that, models have entire teams behind them too.
So, that magazine cover you see of Kendall Jenner? She likely had makeup artists, photographers, a photoshop team and stylists behind that. And more than one of each.
So don't hate yourelf for not looking like that magazine cover. It takes alot of work to create it. No one naturally looks like that naturally.
4. Buy lingerie!!!
Wear it for yourself or wear it for your partner. Admire yourself in the mirror, wear it to bed or wear it for the sexy time. Go comfortable and preferably go cheap because well, It's not going to stay on you for long for if you're wearing it for the sexy time, lol. And when you see how much they oogle at you, remember: you caused that reaction!
5. Appreciate what you have before it's gone
I feel sad when I hear perfectly beautiful women complaining about their flaws. It's fine to have complaints here and there. No one is perfect. But often, these women have such amazing positives about themselves that the 'flaws' don't even matter!
And the thing is they probably won't realise it until it's gone.
"You spend your 20s thinking you're not hot enough. And when you get to your 30s you'll wish you were as hot as you were in your 20s"
So please, spend more time learning to love the positive sides of your body. They might not be there forever.
Have a photo-shoot, do your makeup and dress up. Or heck, just be naked. When you're older, you'll look back and will be glad you gave your body the honour it deserved.